Sky: Children of Light's Season of Dreams Beta Impressions

The new Christmas table and the reindeer horns are pretty snazzy, too!

The new Christmas table and the reindeer horns are pretty snazzy, too!

The Season of Dreams takes place in a ski village, complete with ski-lift airboats. The titular dreams are those of a young skater, and the season’s narrative follows her as she is mentored by several spirits in order to prepare her for a performance in the Valley of Triumph’s coliseum. Unlike the narratives in previous seasons, there is no ambiguity or obscurity in the spirits’ memories, but reliving them is a joy; as learning their emotes and watching them teach the young skater to skate has the player learning some fancy new skating moves themselves and the simplicity of the story makes for a more immediately affecting story; albeit one that is a little less lyrical than previous seasons’.

The village itself, while a little awkward to navigate before all the ski-lifts have been activated, is beautiful; the slopes are a joy to skate down, particularly while reliving the memories of the young skier learning her craft, and the villages’ buildings are reminiscent of Tibetan architecture (think less extravagant temples and more modest houses), and the costumes are as colourful as Peruvian aguayo—with dope hats to complement them, and something that looks like a bigfoot cosplay!

This is why you need the ski lifts!

This is why you need the ski lifts!

By involving the player in the skater’s training, it’s a strong follow-up on the originality in the gameplay of the Season of Prophecy, and thematically it manages to do something different in the way that the Season of Sanctuary did, while still weaving itself into the narrative tapestry of the main game and other seasons in a way that Season of Sanctuary failed to.

Bring on the full release!

Game Under Podcast 132

Above: One night stand.

Above: One night stand.

Tom and Phil discuss Tom’s experience with the Oculus Quest 2. We also give our impressions of Super Mario 3D All-Stars, One Night Stand, Space Channel 5 VR Kinda Funky News Flash.

Thanks for listening.

From Christian Profit to Christian Prophet, Part Three: Takin' Over By Imposin' the Positive

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In the final part of Tom Towers’ Jordan B. Peterson [premature-]obituary, he reads another self-help book for comparison: Takin’ Over By Imposin’ the Positive: My Personal Rap to You by Brandon “Lil B” McCartney.

Check it out here! Praise Eve!

For the uninitiated:

Lil B shot to fame as a living meme, before anyone even knew what a meme was. In fact, his ironic fans prefigure the ironic post-modern Neo-Nazis which started popping up only a few years later; and he paved the way for the likes of Lil Yachty and 6ix9ine. And just like the rainbow shirts, it turns out quite a few ironic fans grow into genuine ones.

So if you’re going to ironically like something, you may as well ironically like something that is good for the world! Plus, his music is actually kinda dope at times; and he has the ego-destroying presence of an evangelical pastor (check out the last video in the article), but instead of scamming people and warmongering, he’s stream of consciousnessing whatever he’s excited about in the moment—kind of like talking in tongues, but selling high heels instead of an afterlife!

From Christian Prophet to Christian Profit, Part Two: 8/12 Rules for Life

People like to shit on Hitler’s unremarkable paintings, but tend to forget Churchill painted shit like this to cheer himself up after his debacle in the Dardanelles.

People like to shit on Hitler’s unremarkable paintings, but tend to forget Churchill painted shit like this to cheer himself up after his debacle in the Dardanelles.

Tom Towers talks about eight (technically nine) of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life in the second instalment of his series on Jordan B. Peterson. As a result of selecting images with which to illustrate it, he now has a file called “Hitler Masturbating” on his hard drive.

This shouldn’t worry him, as he has also pirated the album “Baby Sex” by The Residents.

You can read part 2 here. Or call the police by dialling 000.

From Christian Prophet to Christian Profit, Part One: Maps of Meaning by Jordan B. Peterson

I was going to give his teeth a metallic sheen, but they’re even more terrifying untouched. The whole image is utterly horrific, in fact.

I was going to give his teeth a metallic sheen, but they’re even more terrifying untouched. The whole image is utterly horrific, in fact.

Tom Towers has previously talked about Jordan Peterson here.

Now that Tom has actually read not one but two books by Jordan Peterson, he has a few more things to say which are hopefully more interesting than the original piece. Peterson is an enigmatic figure, and his books do not disappoint: indeed, they reveal that to survive public scrutiny he has had to severely self-censor himself.

Seriously. He’s not on the BBC talking about how Western history is the only form of history in which the historians discuss (or believe they discuss) objective events; not that this makes non-Western historiography any less literally true as they still focus on the psychological significance of events, instead, apparently.

(To be fair, the psychological elements of “Eastern” (or rather, non-Abrahamic) theology and philosophy are much more complex than “Western” (or rather, Catholic and Norse) theology and philosophy—and it goes without saying that the reformation was something of a religious lobotomy for Christians (leaving them almost as dumb as the Vikings and Saxons).

Or better still, that it was dreaming of his grandmother’s paint-brush-like pubic hair that revealed to him how the feminine was symbolic of chaos. (Pe[e]pe[e] go into vejajay; though, luckily, he killed a bear in the dream instead of fucking his granny—but according to Freudian psychoanalysis, it’s fair to say that the axe was his stalk, and the bear his gramma’s cabbage!)

You can read about even more of Jordan Peterson’s wacky adventures here.

Tom Towers' Review of Art of Rally

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Rally games are going through something of a renaissance right now, and Art of Rally is more than a worthy addition to the genre.

Simultaneously original and following through on the promise of a decade of ultimately disappointing Dirt (not to be confused with Dirt Rally) games, find out what makes Art of Rally so special by reading Tom’s review here.

Tom Towers Reviews Vampyr

Kiss the syringe.

Kiss the syringe.

Apparently it’s all about Oedipal sublimation and Brexit. Obviously to reach such conclusions Tom’s review contains major spoilers, so read it at your own risk here.

Not mentioned in the review, but the voice acting and direction is phenomenal. Anthony Howell and Katherine Kingsley manage to make a rather awkward romance somewhat effective, and the whole cast manage to chew through the good and the bad of Dontnod dialogue equally well, which is a big improvement on Life is Strange!